Jewish and Israeli-owned restaurants in New York City appear to have a new off-menu offering: introducing Jewish singles to one another.
“I feel like going to a restaurant—whether kosher, Jewish- or Israeli-owned—I’m more likely to meet someone who is pro-Israel,” Skye Ostreicher, 35, told JNS.
Ostreicher, founder of the storytelling agency In the Room Media, is planning to celebrate her birthday over dinner at Port Sa’id, the Manhattan restaurant of Israeli chef Eyal Shani, in part because she sees it as somewhere to meet people who share values similar to hers.
“I’ve always thought the apps were strange,” she told JNS, of dating mobile sites. “Especially after the pandemic, people want real conversations with real people.”
Some Jewish- and Israeli-owned eateries across the Big Apple have become gathering places, where young Jews meet friends, build community and, at times, find romantic partners. The apparent trend comes as some young adults express fatigue with dating apps and seek more opportunities for in-person interaction.
For some Jewish New Yorkers, restaurants can also provide a setting where a degree of shared cultural identity is already understood.
Restaurants like Motek, Malka, Buba Bureka, 12 Chairs Cafe and Michaeli Bakery have become popular gathering spots for young Jewish New Yorkers, and although the eateries aren’t marketing themselves as dating destinations, staff and patrons say that they have witnessed first dates, conversations between strangers and flirtation among customers.
“We’ve noticed a lot of people coming in on their first date,” a front-of-house employee at Michaeli Bakery’s Upper East Side location told JNS.
The staffer, who spoke anonymously, described a social atmosphere at the bakery.
“I’ve definitely been flirted with by customers here,” she told JNS. “I think bakeries are romantic, and I think this spot is both romantic and Jewish.”
At 12 Chairs Cafe, marketing director Kate Amrani has seen the restaurant’s Manhattan and Brooklyn locations become gathering places for young Jewish New Yorkers.
“12 Chairs is more than a place to grab a meal. It’s a real gathering spot for young Jewish New Yorkers,” she told JNS. “People come back knowing they’ll likely run into someone they know.”
Customers sometimes initiate conversations with people at neighboring tables, she has found.
“We see it happen,” Amrani told JNS. “People strike up conversations with the table next to them, sometimes exchanging numbers before they leave.”
The restaurant’s staff have also heard from customers who formed relationships there.
“We’ve heard those stories many times—customers who met close friends here, and even a few who’ve told us they started dating someone they met at 12 Chairs,” she said.
Amrani does not necessarily attribute the restaurant’s social atmosphere to its Jewish clientele.
“Honestly, I don’t think it’s about it being a specifically Jewish space that makes people comfortable,” she told JNS. “Our door is open to everyone.”
“I think it’s more that 12 Chairs has always felt warm and welcoming, so people naturally feel at ease connecting with whoever is around them,” she said.
For Adrien Lesser, a Manhattan-based political publicist, restaurants can double as modern communal gathering spaces.
“There are tables outside Ouri’s and everyone is very chatty,” she told JNS. “I’ve spoken to many people there. It’s like sitting at a bar and talking to the person next to you.”
Lesser thinks young Jews have become more interested in face-to-face interaction.
“Especially Jewish young people after Oct. 7, there’s this feeling of togetherness and wanting to be with people in person,” she said.
Lesser also sees the trend as an extension of longstanding Jewish traditions centered on food and community.
“We were raised on Shabbat dinners, Passover and the High Holidays,” she said. “Those experiences have always revolved around gathering around a table.”
That communal atmosphere can also make dating more straightforward than the open-ended choices presented by dating apps, according to Lesser.
“Dating apps give you endless choices,” she told JNS. “Being in these spaces makes things a little easier.”
Rabbi Mark Wildes, founder and director of the Manhattan Jewish Experience, doesn’t think that the connection between Jewish communal spaces and dating is new.
“It’s always been this way,” he told JNS. “People come to MJE. They go to a cafe to meet each other.”
“It also depends on the age. Younger people want to be social,” the rabbi said. “They don’t care as much that they are meeting a specific person as a boyfriend or girlfriend, but in their late 20s and 30s, they are becoming more marriage-minded.”
Manhattan Jewish Experience’s programming illustrates how social interaction can develop around Jewish communal activities without dating being the primary purpose, according to the rabbi.
“The nice thing here is that when people are coming, they are not just coming to meet somebody. They came for a class,” he told JNS. “But they know when they go there from 7:30 to 8, there’s going to be sushi, wine and mingling, and even after.”
The communal nature of Jewish food and dining can also help explain why restaurants become gathering places, he said.
“I would imagine it brings more people to restaurants too, because people want to congregate,” Wildes told JNS. “Keeping kosher has had that effect in Jews living in the diaspora. It brings people together.”
“Eating is a really social thing that people do—a basic human need to congregate and be near each other,” he added.
Ariel Palitz, founding director of New York City’s official nightlife office under Bill de Blasio, thinks that hospitality venues have long served as places where people build community. Jewish restaurants are no exception, she told JNS.
“It’s a safe bet to go to these restaurants,” she said. “On dating apps, someone may identify as ‘Jewish,’ but you don’t necessarily know what that means to them.”
“In these spaces, there’s a shared cultural context,” she told JNS.
